So , because I hate be uninformed when sharing information, I decided that rather than gathering knowledge from personal experience alone, I would consult our good ole friends at the worldwide google interweb information highway for answers to all my weight gaining needs. Unfortunately, most of what I found was “healthy” weight gaining techniques which seems like way less fun, and was probably intended for some underweight waif of a person, and not the glorious 395 lb me. However, there was some useful information and I thought it would make for a fun little point/counterpoint. So take it away googleweb:
Googleweb says: Eat foods high in calories & vitamins, rather than food high in fat & sugar.
I say that counting calories is very important, gaining weight is incredibly similar to weight loss in this way. At the peak of my weight gaining journey, I would do a calorie count as I shopped for groceries. Which mayo has the most calories? It is important to understand that the only way to gain is to consume more energy that you expend. Admittedly, some of us have faster metabolism, simply meaning that those who do, need to consume even more to see a significant weight increase.
Now I am certain that in the twisted world of healthy weight gain, we would curb the food high in fat, but let’s be honest. What we want is MORE FAT…More squishy, soft, mushy, heavy, dimply, curvy fat is the goal. Thus you should consume that fat. If you want to be health conscious, you might decide to eat more unsaturated fat… But I say just have fun! That’s ultimately what your weight gaining experience should be is fun, so go for that Turtle Cheesecake that packs a delicious 32 grams of fat in every tiny slice, and don’t be afraid to eat the WHOLE THING!
Another good way of adding to your calorie count is to pack more calories into each serving: Add some ground chicken to your soups, cheese to your casseroles, dried milk to your mashed potatoes and shakes. And speaking of shakes, let us not forget our good friend the weight gain shake. I have had fans and friends in the past make me some delicious creations regarding weight gaining shakes, and if you check out my blog I will put up some recipes. Drinking a weight gaining shake can be made erotic, if you really stop to think about how much the feedee is really consuming in one sitting. YUM! Also, be sure to check out the Cold Stone Creamery PB & C Shake, which packs a whopping 2000 calories!
Googleweb says: Drink mixed juices such as apple/berry, orange/banana as opposed to one juice beverages for a higher calorie intake… I say that sounds like a helpful tip, but how about some whole milk, or one better delicious CHOCOLATE MILK!
Googleweb says: Snack in between meals. Insert list of nutritious (boring) food here.
I say: ALWAYS be snacking. Little Debbies were invented for a reason.
Googleweb says: Any weight gain diet will contain plenty of unrefined carbohydrates. Now on this point Googleweb and I are completely seeing eye to eye. Belly to Belly. I say PASTA PASTA PASTA BREAD PASTA PASTA!
Weight gaining is SUPPOSED TO BE FUN, but please keep in mind that it can have some of the same frustrations as weight loss. For example, you may hit the dreaded plateau and find yourself unable to gain as easily. Just keep in mind that this is natural. You body has adjusted to your new lifestyle. Now this may be a good point to decide to stop, or take a break, or if you’re really ambitious… I say, CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME. Eat more and really fight your way through that momentary stale-mate.
The rewards of weight gaining, in my experience however, far outweigh (pun intended) the hardships. Better sex, bigger belly, bigger boobs, in my case I grew an ass. And bigger… Dare a say it EGO. But all kidding aside… The food itself, the process, the closeness that’s gained by sharing the experience with someone you care for, and the yummy squishy fat are all part of the journey. I will never go back to regular dieting again. Signing off now is me, Reenaye Starr. Until next time, Practice safe eating — always use condiments.